Hamartia
by symbiotic-solipsism
Summary: Everyone has a fatal flaw. As the tension in Kirkwall rises Meredith's oppression worsens, Hawke is forced to make a choice to protect her friends. Now she has to pay for that choice to protect and try to prevent the destruction of Kirkwall.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This story is in response to a prompt on the Dragon Age!Kink Meme. Hope you enjoy it!_

_Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and its characters are not mine... unfortunately._

* * *

_"Hamartia: Traditionally described as the hero's fatal flaw. The word is rooted in the notions of being mistaken, ignorant, missing the mark and accidental wrong doing. Additionally, it can also describe a deliberate iniquity, error and sin"_

**Chapter One**

"You have a letter waiting for you Messere Hawke"

Bodahan told the Champion of Kirkwall as she clanked into her home. Marian was weary and couldn't wait to shed her armor and relax. She mustered her strength to smile at the dwarf, who helped run the estate now, especially after...

Shaking her head Hawke headed for the stairs and clanked her way into her room; she could almost feel the trail of dirt that she was leaving behind embedded on the plush carpeting. But she didn't care. Slowly she shed her armour, leaving it beside the hearth to clean and polish later on and sank gratefully into a waiting, steaming bath.  
When she emerged, she dressed and headed downstairs to address business awaiting for her accompanied by a overly filled bowl of meat stew. Scooping a large mouthful, Hawke tore open the letter and swallowed hastily. It was from the First Enchanter, asking for her aid. She quickly read the letter, liking what the First Enchanter was asking her to do less and less. Marian knew that the issue of a rogue templars was a big one; one that she was a lot more acquainted with than one would think. She also knew that this had to be addressed immediately.

But not before she finished her stew.

When she had finished the small tasks that came with caring for an estate and reading the reports from the spies she had keeping tabs on her dear uncle Gamlen, she pulled on pants, boots and light but sturdy cured leather armour, sheathed her long sword and set out into the night for Lowtown. As she walked her hound, Max walking by her side- tongue out and tail wagging at a new adventure, she tried to process what exactly was required of her by the senior enchanter; his message was vague but held clear instructions on where to go, it seemed to an estate in Hightown.

Not that she was stupid enough to go by herself, at night. No, she would see who was at the Hanged Man this evening and then make her decision on who to take, depending on the number of empty pints sitting in front of them. It always depended on the number of empty glasses when it came to night time runs through Kirkwall. As discord spread through Kirkwall, walking around at night wasn't an ideal place to be...unless you knew how to defend yourself and had a sword at your disposal to prove it.

As if to prove this thought, a youngster with more balls than brains approached Hawke with two daggers that she was sure he couldn't even throw a yard. A well planted fist to the gut and reclaiming the contents of her purse that he had snatched from her waist didn't even make Hawke break a sweat as she continued on her way.. She heard the soft gasps of the grunt's companions as Dog went sniffing up to their hiding spot and growled at the barrels, where they hid. Smiling she called Max away giving his hip a loving pat. With a happy whine, he trotted on ahead of Hawke as they rounded a corner and the faint sounds of glass breaking, yells and drunken singing emerged from a lone door in the middle of a building. Pulling the heavy door open, Hawke entered and her senses were overcome with the smells of human sick, the disgusting ale that the Hanged Man served and now, the cheers of 'Hawke'.

"Stay"

She ordered Max who grudgingly laid on the floor besides the door jam, head resting on his paws and looking sorely disappointed. Hawke could almost guess the thoughts that were going through his head as she turned around and approached the table that housed a generous amount of pint glasses, a small pile of gold, cards and Varric, Isabela and Merrill.

"Hawke, I thought you were too high and mighty to join us for Diamondback tonight?"

Varric slurred as he moved his chair around and clumsily pulled an extra chair over for Hawke to sit on. As soon as Hawke had sat down, Isabela pushed a pint across the table and rested her feet on Hawke's lap. Merrill touched Hawke's shoulder in greeting, smiling widely.

"Not tonight, Varric. The First Enchanter needs some help tonight; I was wondering if two of you would be available to help me?"

Hawke directed her question towards Merrill and Isabela. Merrill was interested in what the First Enchanter could possibly want. Isabela had already disappeared upstairs somewhere.

"Oh c'mon Hawke don't you believe in having a night off? We need to  
talk about the next novellia that I'm writing."

Varric slurred once more, pulling the small pile of gold towards him and fumbling with the buckles on his purse. Hawke leaned forward, pushing the pint of beer that had been proffered to her out of the way so she could unbuckle Varric's bag.

"Thanks for that m'dear"

Varric began shovelling the gold into the bag by handfuls, occasionally pausing to take a long draught of the Hanged Man's prized ale. Hawke shook her head at her favourite dwarf's antics and Merril touched Hawke's shoulder again.

"What does the First Enchanter want us to do?"

Merrill asked Hawke, still quiet and timid as they headed towards the exit, where Max was waiting, tail wagging and panting excitedly. Merrill scratched Max's ears as they waited for Isabela.

"I'm ready to go, kittens"

Isabela announced as she approached them. Hawke whistled to Max and opened the door, letting in the sharp wind that blew through Kirkwall in the night. Despite the accompanying chill, it was a clear evening, the moon high in the sky with no cloud cover hindering the light.

"The First Enchanter wants us to investigate the possibility of rogue Templars. I have an address in the Hightown Estates, where we shall begin. If it comes to a fight, I want you on the offensive Merril, I will protect you which leaves you to do what you do best in a fight Isabela"

Hawke told her two companions. It was nice to have girls with her on a night jaunt, not that spending time hunting down templars or apostates with Fenris, Anders or Varric wasn't fun- not at all.

"Doing what I do best in a fight, Hawke will always involve my unmentionables and scented oils."

Isabela told her coyly. Hawke chuckled as she unsheathed her long sword, the runes that Sandal had enchanted onto the heavy metal piece gleaming in the moonlight. Glancing down at Max, she saw that he was alert and ready to attack; not a good sign.

"Its the Champion!"

Hawke saw the flare of magic being cast in their direction before she saw the culprit that had cried out her identity. Getting a surer grip on her trusty long-sword, Hawke glanced back at her companions, grinned and with a loud cry Hawke charged for the nearest templars and immediately brought one to the ground with a well placed slash to the soft flesh behind the knee caps; followed by a blow to the head. Merril was taunting three of the five mages with a petrifying spell that had their hands and feet turned to stone. Letting out a loose laugh, Hawke turned her attention to the templar directly in front of her.

"You fight like my mother!"

Isabela called and Hawke whipped around in time to bring up her sword in defense the force clamouring through her arms. With an angry grunt, she kicked the templar in the gut and followed with a blow to the helmet that sent the templar reeling. Looking around her, Hawke saw that the fight was over. Without a second thought, she stooped down and emptied out the unconcious templar's belongings- taking coin, vials of lyrium and health potions.

"Hawke, I've found something!"

Merrill called and she went to her friend who was holding a piece of parchment in one hand and scooping three vials of lyrium into her pocket with the other. Taking the grubby and torn note from Merril, she read quickly before determining where they next had to go.

"There's recruitment for this group at Gardibali's Warehouse. Do you know where that is, Isabela?"

Hawke asked as she carefully folded the note and pocketed it safetly away from potential carnage. Satisfied now that the danger had passed, she quickly wiped her sword clean before sheathing it safetly onto her back.

"The docks, Hawke? So we're definitely going to see tell of my unmentionables this evening?"

Isabela asked as she tucked some silvers that she had skillfully thieved from a apostate down her left boot. Hawke couldn't help but chuckle as she clapped the pirate on the back and whistled Max away from the Elfroot that was growing in a garden.

"The warehouse district? I was pretty certain that apart from sinister meetings that people actually stored objects there."

Merrill giggled to herself as she walked by Hawke's side as they ducked through numerous back alleyways, passing quickly from Hightown to Lowtown and then the acrid smell of rotting fish that told one that they were in the docks of Kirkwall; it occured to Hawke that it was now quiet...a bit to quiet.

"Gardibali's Warehouse. It's quite the mouthful"

Merrill observed, coming to a stop in front of a door that had previously been chained shut. With a grin, the young elf pushed the unlocked door open. It gave, opening silently and the group entered the warehouse; weapons drawn and in the case of Max, looking for a fight. As they approached a flimsy looking door that was closed and they heard muffled voices on the other side. Hawke was distracted by the large, padlocked chests.

"I've got this in the bag, Hawke"

Isabela whispered into Hawke's ear as Hawke ran a yearning hand over one of them. Within seconds, Isabela had the chests unlocked and seeing no items of interest, abandoned the open crates. Nudging the door open with the tip of her staff; Merrill crept in ahead of the others with Hawke close on her heels. Where Isabela and Max had disappeared to- she didn't know but it would be to their advantage of; that she was sure of.

The first thing that Hawke noticed was the young Templar recruit that she had saved all those years ago- Keran. She wouldn't forget how the boy had pleaded with her to help him, too plead his case with the Knight-Captain and Hawke, seeing something of herself in the situation had relented; much to Fenris' wraith and exposing herself to Varric as a 'big nug loving softy'.

"I can't do it...I won't!"

Keran yelled as he ran away just as apostates all but surrounded them. With a furious yell, Merrill summoned lightning into the warehouse, the bolts crackling as they darted through the apostates with the shock of the spell knocking them out as Hawke struck down one Templar after another as they emerged from a side room. Merrill relentlessly cast spell after spell, incarcerating each templar in stone when they dared to attempt to try and stop her. Striking down a Templar Hawke tried to catch her breath- she felt herself losing energy and fast and still wondered where her dog and Isabela had gotten too when she heard the angry growls of Max and the fast, harsh sound of metal hitting metal.

"I can't do this for much longer!"

Merrill cried out to Hawke desperately since the elf mage was tiring. Littered on the ground around her where she stood were empty vials of lyrium and fallen opponants. A limber Templar was continuously attacking the now only standing mage in the room and through his efforts Hawke saw that Merrill was tiring quicker and quicker. Hawke darted forward and blocked a stab directed to Merril's back whilst she was turned and immediately changed tact from defense to offence.

"I thought the Chantry taught its soldiers honour and chivalry in a fight"

Hawke growled at her adversary. In the background, she could hear Isabela's triumphant calls and immediately closer to herself, Merril's harsh and weary breathing as she struggled to gather more strength. When the Templar struck out at Hawke with a fist, pushing her backwards and leaving her slightly winded, did she spot Isabela and Max come leaping off of a overhead balcony of sorts. The combined heavy weight of both a woman and a fully grown mabari hound falling a few feet on top of the Templar succeeded in knocking their foe silly and immovable.

Merrill was the first to make a noise, a peal of laughter that echoed throughout the entire room as a lone figure approached them. Keran who was no longer the young templar recruit that Hawke remembered began to stammer an explanation of what had happened. Hawke was barely listening, that is until she heard mentions of Thrask- one of the few rare templars that had mercy for the plight of mages.

"Thrask? He's involved?"

Hawke asked, Keran now motivated by Marian's response began to talk with earnest detailing what he knew about what Thrask's thoughts were on the matter. Things took a turn for the worse when he mentioned hostages.

"Hostages are involved? Where are they being kept?"

Hawke demanded, renewing her grip on her sword. From the information that Keran had told her, it was that the core conspirators thought that Hawke was at the root of the spy ring which could only mean that there was the chance that her mother or even, Bethany had become involved.

"A place on the Wounded Coast. I will draw you a map and explain their location"

Keran told her, crossing over to the door that lead back outside, stepping over unconscious and deceased bodies. Hawke followed, struggling to staunch the nerves that were welling up inside of her and as Keran explained the location on his badly drawn map, she could hear the clinks of armor being moved as Isabela searched the pockets, purses and pouches for coin, medicinal items and other items that would help them and hoped there was some lyrium for Merrill.

"Thank you Keran, where will you go now?"

Hawke asked the young Templar as he looked around the devastation in the warehouse. Merrill was standing now, no longer panting for breath keeping a firm hold on her staff which she lent on as she walked.

"Back to my sister Macha. You won't tell her what happened will you? Or the Knight-Captain?"

A flash of the boy she remembered appeared in his eyes and face at his question. She smiled at the young templar and patted his shoulder after sheathing her bloodied longsword.

"Of course not, Keran. Of course not."

Keran smiled at her as Marian turned and headed for the door, an energetic Mabari close on her heels and held the door open for her recovering mage. Isabela grinned at her friends as the first rays of sunrise and the coldness that accompanied the beginning of a new day hit them.

"The Wounded Coast, again? I think we need to rename it. Something along the lines of 'Hawke's Girdle'? What do you think?"

Isabela asked her companions, Merrill chuckled her posture straightening after ingesting a healing paste. Hawke punched the pirate on the shoulder good humouredly.

"Isabela, shut up."


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and its characters are not mine... unfortunately._

* * *

**Chapter Two**_  
_

It was agreed that stopping at the Hanged Man for a well-deserved pint or two or three and a plate piled high with shanks was in order and before she knew it, Hawke found herself sitting, cleaning and polishing her sword with Max lying beside her chair accompanied by a sleepy elf and a sexually charged pirate. She looked at Merrill who hadn't touched her stew or her ale and despite her claims that she was fully recovered, still showcased extreme fatigue. Max whined beside her and put his heavy head on Hawke's knee and she smiled down at him, as she began to mule over the information that Keran had given her.

"Merrill, I think you need to go home and rest."

She finally said and as if to reaffirm her decision, Merrill who held her head in her hands slipped and fell face first into her stew. Isabela chuckled and carefully lifted the now sleeping mage upright and settled against the back of her seat as Hawke wiped her face.

"So… how well do you think Anders and Sebastian will get along?"

Hawke asked Isabela as Hawke carefully hoisted Merrill onto her back and grabbed the last bone of meat that she hadn't yet eaten. Isabela flicked coin to the sleepy barmaid that had served them and followed behind them. Once they were outside in the morning air and hearing the sounds that signified that Kirkwall was beginning to stir did Isabela laugh aloud.

"Chantry boy and our friendly neighborhood abomination in proximity of each other? You know what; I think this might just actually be fun."

She had to agree with Isabela on that one and instead of replying; she took a massive bite out of her shank and gave the remaining bone that still had meat on it to Max. Crossing into the Alienage and under the shade of the Vhenadahl that stood in the middle of the square, they crossed the market place and Isabela graciously picked the lock on the front door successfully, opening the door for Hawke to walk inside Merrill's tiny one bedroomed home. With Isabela's help, removed her armor and tucked her into bed. Max jumped up onto the end of the bed and curled up around her feet.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, be a good boy for Merrill"

Hawke cooed to the dog and giving Max a peck on the forehead as he licked her face affectionately. He whined at Hawke and then looked at Merrill before whining again. Hawke scratched his head once more.

"Merrill needs to rest. When she wakes up, she'll be back to her chirpy self"

Hawke reassured the hound and taking one last look at her young friend before Hawke left, leaving Isabela to close and lock the door behind them. Standing outside in the Alienage Hawke breathed in deeply and then looked at the pirate who was stretching beside her.

"What do you say that we split up and meet at the crossroads? Take your pick: Anders or Sebastian?"

Hawke suggested to Isabela as they walked back into Lowtown. The mischievous look that crossed the pirate's face wasn't reassuring to Marian, but at least she knew she would be taking a trip to the Chantry. Clapping the pirate on the back she started climbing the steps that lead to the Chantry.

"Just make sure you don't bring oiled leather and whipped cream into it."

Hawke called back as she hefted her sword further up her back. The echoes of Isabela's laughter followed her as she walked through the sleeping streets of Hightown. Arriving at the Chantry, Isabela handed her sword to the guard and entered inside the smells of sage and frankincense causing Hawke's nose to itch. Rubbing it furiously, she asked a sister if she could see Sebastian.

"Champion, good day"

Hawke turned around at the mention of 'champion'. Behind her stood Knight-Captain Cullen; a Templar of considerate power- not someone any mage or living being would want to trifle with in a fight. Indeed, Hawke had wondered what great wrong had happened to him that made him such a powerful a Templar but she knew that she would never be given that answer.

"Knight-Captain"

Hawke nodded in greeting. She knew that the Templars- especially their leader Meredith regarded her as a persistent thorn in the Templar Order side-especially with the consideration that she had hidden for three years her apostate sister until she had willingly given herself up to the Circle when Hawke had been in the Deep Roads. Even more so was the well-known fact that Hawke had helped many an apostate in the years that she had spent in Kirkwall. Marian could feel the gaze of the Knight-Captain on her and she met his stare, daring him to say something to her.

"Hawke? Good morning. Knight-Captain"

Sebastian greeted them both. Hawke turned to Sebastian and away from the Knight-Captain's cryptic gaze. She noticed that the prince of Starkhaven had his bow and quiver of arrows strung to his back, almost as if he had been waiting for her to call for his help.

"Good day, Knight-Captain"

Hawke finally said after a very pregnant pause. She headed for the exit, Sebastian next to her. When she was convinced they were out of the Knight-Captain's earshot; which was only when they were outside of the sanctuary of the Chantry, did Hawke speak.

"The First Enchanter has asked us to investigate rogue Templars. It looks like it goes a lot deeper though. Are you interested in going for a little hike through the Wounded Coast?"

Hawke worded her request carefully, remembering the first and only time that Anders and Sebastian had ever met. The outcome had resulted that in the best interests for Aveline; who was a mere city-guard looking at promotion to lieutenant and Hawke who was quickly becoming a political influence in Kirkwall, meant that Hawke had to ensure that Anders and Sebastian not be together for long periods of time ever again unless it was absolutely necessary. Marian Hawke then had to wonder if it was absolutely necessary but then decided that it was. She just hoped that no one had the misfortune of getting in between the two of them survived the fall out- which would result either in multiple arrows shot into their body or in the case of Anders, be frozen into an ice statue.

"Rogue Templars are an issue Hawke, one that needs to be addressed. As always, you have my bow Hawke."

Marian's thoughts were side tracked by a mixture of Sebastian's accent and the unbelievable thought that the man had taken his vows to the Chantry. Instead of gaping at the Brother like she really wanted too, Hawke nodded quickly and explained to Sebastian what had already been uncovered first in Hightown and then at the Warehouse. Of course, she left out the tiny and somewhat insignificant details of blood and unconscious bodies that had been left in the wake of first Merrill's torrent of Force magic and then Isabela and Max.

"This is worrying Hawke, the magnitude that has been described seems like only the tip of the iceberg. I only hope that it can be solved before the Seekers become involved."

Hawke had to agree with Sebastian, which was the reason why they were where they are now; heading towards the crossroads which was only a few stone throws from the gates of Kirkwall.

"Maker help us if the Seekers get involved"

Hawke murmured in reply. Now she was nervous and began to doubt if investigating without the Knight-Commander's knowledge about the conspiracy was wise. As they approached the crossroads, Hawke caught sight of the royal blue and embroidered gold of Isabela's head and waist ties.

"Oh Hawke, no wonder you were so vague but I should have known. I wish you would have told me that this particular mage would be joining us today and wasn't Merrill."

Sebastian told her as Hawke noticed Anders sitting beside Isabela on a jutting rock from the cliff face and she couldn't help but laugh at how Sebastian worded his disgust at being in the company of Anders. She knew that Sebastian held a soft spot for Merrill, she was positive that everyone who knew her had a soft spot for the naïve but wise elf.

"Would you have come if I had mentioned Anders?"

"No, I would not have. Even to investigate a conspiracy involving rogue Templars."

Isabela was waving at the duo as they approached and Hawke noticed that Anders' hair was damp and hanging in clumps, further inspection showed that his cloak that he wore was wet too.

"Is it too much to ask you to be civil? You can take your frustrations at Anders on rogue Templars and apostates. Just think about it Sebastian, it might even be fun!"

Sebastian began to laugh, a low pitched laugh that seemed to warm the atmosphere around him and Hawke had to join in. Coming to stop at the crossroad, Sebastian grunted at Anders and greeted Isabela warmly with an embrace that ended in Isabela successfully copping a feel of Sebastian's buttocks.

"Hawke; I woke up tied to my cot with cured leather, half naked and with whipped cream dripping through my hair. Hawke promise me that you will never send that- that wench to my clinic for anything whatsoever ever again."

Isabela punched the annoyed mage on the shoulder, the blow being cushioned by the many layers that he wore to stave off the cold and Hawke found herself having difficulty hiding her amusement after Isabela winked at her. Instead of mentioning any more on the subject, Hawke pulled out a detailed map of the coast along with Keran's hastily scrawled map to reach the conspirators.

Despite all of its scenic charms, the Wounded Coast was not a place that one went to dilly dally. Slave traders, pirates and numerous other undesirables lurked in the many hidden cave systems and it was quite easy to say that it was a sore point for the Kirkwall City Guard. As they began the trek up the steep path that would eventually bring them out onto the cliffs that surrounded Kirkwall, Hawke regretted not being able to bring Merrill. She knew that the elf missed being out in the open and amongst the flora and fauna. As a result and despite the dangers, Merrill felt more at home whilst being out in the open on the uneven terrain and was noticeably happier.

"There is something that just doesn't seem right"

Anders commented looking around at the quiet surroundings as his three other companions examined the path as they walked, following the fresher footprints and armed with a compass and two maps. Hawke had to agree with Anders; that there was something that wasn't quite right: It was too quiet for such a place and Hawke could vividly remember the last time that she had been on the Wounded Coast looking for herbs with Merrill when they had accidentally stumbled upon a group of Tal 'Vashoth who were simply looking for a fight and the two girls had been more than happy to oblige and give them one.

"Hawke? Are you off in other lands?"

She looked at Anders who nodded to look to the right and Hawke followed his gaze and spotted the thin wisps of smoke floating along the wind. She pressed on with renewed fervor, her palms itching to draw her sword and hack a direct route to the source of the smoke through the thick and long grasses. Now there was absolute silence amongst the group as they approached the destination. Rounding a corner, the group happened upon a camp that had clearly been set up for a longer period of time. As she scanned the location, she caught sight of a lifeless body of a circle mage with short brown hair who was sprawled on the ground. It took Hawke a beat to recognize the mage in question and blind panic raced through her

"Bethany? Bethany!"

Hawke cried out, her voice choking on her sudden fury for the people that had involved her little sister and it was Isabela who stopped her from dropping everything to help her sister.

"Hawke, I'm sorry that we meet again like this"

Hawke turned her attention from her sister to Ser Thrask is one of the few Templars Hawke actually liked. With him stood another face that she hadn't seen in what felt like decades when it was actually years- Grace an apostate whose husband Fenris had willingly cut down six years previously.

"What is happening here, Thrask? Why is my sister on the ground at your feet and not in the Circle?"

Hawke didn't attempt to contain her fury since Anders and Isabela both held handfuls of her cloak, stopping her from charging at the group of Templars and mages that stood opposite them. She didn't know where Sebastian was- she knew that he would have positioned himself in a prime vantage point that afforded him protection as well as the element of surprise. As if he sensed Hawke's thoughts a whistle came floating on the wind signaling his location: to the left and above- he was in the shrubbery that grew on the top of a rock wall that afforded the site protection from the unrelenting wind.

"When there was suggestion that you were working for Meredith, steps had to be taken to ensure your cooperation"

"My sister has nothing to do with me or mine; I assure you that I am far from willing to cooperate when my sister is dead in front of me."

Thrask shook his head and looked first at Grace and the people standing behind him and then back to Hawke.

"You need to see that Meredith is close to causing open war between Templars and mages, her mind is not as sound as it should be for someone in her position. I have worked for six years one Templar and one mage at a time- we need to show everyone that there is another way. But when I heard that you risked your life lying to protect those mages, it was then that I saw that we were wrong."

Thrask explained to Hawke and behind her, Anders made a noise indicating that he agreed to some extent at what Thrask had to say. Hawke pushed her hair out of her eyes, exasperated with the Templar.

"I should have known that you would not be working for Meredith, that you would recognize the threat that Meredith is and I am sorry for any distress we caused you or your friends"

Thrask apologized and Hawke nodded, acknowledging his apology but she wasn't sure if she was going to accept it.

"I'm a bit adverse to your methods, Ser Thrask"

Thrask nodded, understanding of Hawke's position.

"Of course, nevertheless we thought it necessary"

He turned to a mage and ordered Bethany to be let go. Grace however, saw differently and pushed away the young mage who went to tend to Bethany.

"No! The girl dies and then the Champion"

Grace objected, turning to Thrask who walked up to her. Hawke could already see that Grace was ready to fight.

"No, we cannot become Meredith; killing innocents will not help us achieve our ends"

Thrask tried to reason with the aggravated apostate. Grace began to pace before turning and stopping pointing a finger at Hawke.

"Decimus was right, no one can live by the Chantry's laws. You may have killed him, Champion but he taught me everything and he taught me well"

Isabela touched Hawke's back and then couldn't help but add her own opinion to the matter

"I told Fenris that he should have cut this bitch down as well"

Hawke laughed before she could cover her amusement and decided to continue goading Grace, knowing that it could only work in their favor.

"I'll just point out that the person who did kill Decimus actually isn't with us at the moment, this seems to be a problem doesn't it Isabela?"

Hawke knew that an angry mage was a dangerous mage. Hawke also knew that an angry, humiliated mage meant that anyone within the vicinity should run for the hills and not to look back. To Hawke, that sounded like hours of endless fun.

"I've had enough of this, Alain kill the hostage"

The mage Alain in question stammered and refused to follow Grace's order. Thrask however tried to calm the situation that Hawke was certain she had made worse.

"Stand down, Grace. No one has to die here today, or ever!"

Thrask, frustrated turned and went to walk away. Grace raised a hand and before anyone could do anything- before Sebastian could knock an arrow and shoot at Grace, Thrask was elevated and fell to the ground, face pale and unmoving.

"Forget the hostage, kill the champion!'

She screamed. Infuriated Hawke charged for Grace, drawing her long sword as she did so. Two Templars engaged Hawke as she tried to reach Grace to deal with the mage herself. A blast of frost went past Hawke and froze them both on the spot; Hawke whirled around looked at Anders who grinned at her before Hawke turned around and started fighting her way through the bray trying to deal with Grace herself.

"You've got to be quicker than that Hawke."

Anders called out to her as he crumbled a mage with a powerful crushing spell. Arrows began to fly as more of Thrask's men began to attack, but Hawke didn't care; she was focused on Grace; a mage who Hawke would hazard to guess was all but Anders' equal in skill, knowledge and strength when it came to magic. Through sheer willpower and team effort, Hawke was soon close enough that Grace was forced to parry to Hawke's blows. With a yell, Hawke managed to push Grace backwards making her stumble back and into a thorny bush. With one fluid motion, Hawke pulled her dagger from her belt and slashed out at Grace's throat.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and its characters are not mine... unfortunately._

* * *

**Chapter Three**_  
_

A rush of adrenaline worked its way through Marian's body at the thrill that went through her at the sight of Grace dead on the ground which left Hawke feeling more alive than she had for the longest of times. Turning around, she saw that her determination in dealing with Grace had hindered her companions. The Templars had been dealt with, which left a score of harrowed apostates. She jumped into the fray, attempting to aid Anders but was useless- the mages had separated Anders from Isabela and Sebastian and as a result Anders, attempting to defend them all was nearing collapse and Hawke had to suspect that not even Justice was able to lend aid.

"Hawke, they've separated us. They're sharing power to strengthen their magic and Justice cannot help either. I don't know if I could help you to get through even one of their shields."

Hawke spotting an opportunity in their opponents attacks, grabbed Anders hand and ducked behind thorny foliage and sat, giving herself the chance to catch her breath and to attempt to plan a strategy and for Anders to have the chance to drink a vial of lyrium. She could still hear the sound of Isabela mocking the mages in attempt of trying to get past their defenses and she didn't know where Sebastian was or if he was faring well. Occasionally there was the thud of an arrow hitting its mark but Hawke noticed that they were appearing less frequently by the minute. She didn't know how long they would continue and knew that she couldn't place hope in that. Trying to think and coming up with the one solution she wasn't happy with; Hawke looked at Anders.

"Do you have any ideas, Hawke?"

Hawke sighed and looked up to the cloudy sky and wondered if what she was considering get the job done, considering how long it had been since she had last tapped that particular resource of hers. She knew they were using mana based magic and all she needed to do was take it away. That was simple right? Not convinced at all that it was the right cause of action, Hawke turned to Anders.

"I do. But you need to promise me that you will trust in everything I do and ask of you and allow me to explain once we're back home and safe"

Anders looked at Hawke, incredulous. In everything that Marian Hawke did, she always knew how to make any situation amusing no matter the circumstances. Anders looked at Hawke, really looked at her. She was worried, angry, unsure and exhausted and Anders had to wonder what it was that she had hidden up her sleeve that could help them.

"We're not going to get out any other way; we don't know where Sebastian is or where Isabela is. All we can hear is Isabela. I can do something to help but you have to promise to just listen to me and I'll explain when we're home"

Hawke pleaded to Anders. He saw a desperation that he had never seen on her before and it was something that he never wanted to see on her face ever again. Hawke had risked her life dozens of times for her friends. She trusted them and in the case of Isabela, forgave her for her indiscretions. Now it was time for Anders to return that trust.

"What do you need me to do?"

Anders finally said. Hawke looked at Ander's pouch that she knew contained his lyrium and took a deep breath; she wasn't looking forward to what she was going to look and feel like as she came down from the amount of lyrium she was about to induce on herself.

"I need lyrium, as much as you can afford to give me."

Still, Hawke didn't know if what she was doing was going to be the best idea. She knew that once the lyrium had charged through her body that she would be able to take care of the mages no problem but the ramifications of showing this particular 'talent' to the world would affect the strife that was occurring in Kirkwall. As Champion, she didn't know what would happen now- would Meredith pull rank on a Templar that had deserted her duty? Hawke knew that many people were watching her, waiting for her to choose mages or the Templars in this feud that had the potential to turn into a war and Hawke had to wonder that if everyone knew about her Templar abilities if that would mean that she had taken sides? Maybe, maybe not.

"Here, take it all if you need it, I have a lot more where that came from"

Anders handed the entire contents of the pouch that was belted around his waist to Hawke without question and Marian saw the blind trust that he had in her, that she would get them out of this alive, like she had always done. There was a loud bang followed by a loud cry of pain.

"I need some help over here!"

Isabela screamed, her voice laced with pain and Hawke's mind was made up. She opened the pouch unstopped the first vial of lyrium and downed it in one gulp. This was followed immediately by five more. Anders had jumped up at the pirate's scream for help to try and get her to safety and Hawke heard another loud bang that sent birds flying and spotted him fall to the ground too. She was positive now that she was the last one standing and that the mages were closing in on her. She felt the charge of lyrium buzzing through her, her senses had moved into hyper-drive but she knew that she wasn't there yet- that she needed to ingest more lyrium. She unstopped three more vials and knocked them back like Isabela had shown her to do with nips of whisky before she felt the tingling in her limbs that signified the raw, boiling power that the processed lyrium provided.

"Come out, come out wherever you are Champion, we promise we'll make this quick and relatively painless for you if you do."

The mages collectively continued to goad Hawke; all the while they were traipsing closer and closer to her now useless hiding place. The lyrium sang to the powers that lay dormant insider her; begging to be unleashed. Charged, furious and hyperactive, Hawke reached for her long sword and the runes inscribed on the metal that had previously been inactive flared to life as Hawke channeled some of her power into the sword. She jumped up, bellowing as she lunged for the nearest mages channeling negative waves that negated the mages' mana pool. Fade strengthened staff clashed with steel as Hawke came up against mages who now were no longer confident as they realized just what the Champion was doing.

"Here I am. What will you do about it now?"

Hawke couldn't help but say to one mage as she delivered a hard blow to his face, temporarily stunning him before knocking him to the dusty ground. Moving onto the next mage, who tried to cast only to find her abilities blocked by Hawke's power, did she turn to flee. Hawke not having it, stooped and picked up a stone that fit easily into the palm of her hand and lobbed it after her, striking her on the back and making her trip to the ground.

"You're not escaping that easily!"

Hawke called after her and whirled around to block the backstab that would have definitely put her out of action; knocking the dagger away from the apostate's hand Hawke first delivered a knee to his groin and once he'd doubled over, a well-placed elbow to the back of the neck had him sprawled on the ground like his other fellows. Hawke was now left with only three of the escaped apostates- one of which was curled up against the rock wall and who she had deemed as harmless after his refusal to aid Grace, she would ask for him to help Bethany. But the other two…

Marian's thoughts were interrupted by the strangled and frustrated cry of a mage trying to summon and who wasn't succeeding thanks to Hawke's negating talents. From across the clearing, Hawke watched as the apostate muttered furiously as she pulled a dagger out of a pocket in her robes. Sickened, Hawke watched the apostate summon the Fade with her life force, her face growing paler as she fed her blood to the angry spirits that lurked in the Fade. As this happened, Hawke swiftly crept around the concentrating mage and just as she was about to draw her dagger Marian Hawke watched as a glowing blade struck the maleficar down. Around her, Templars were emerging from the brush, two of which were advancing towards the cowering mage and Bethany who still lay as still as stone on the ground.

"Those two are mine."

Hawke called out to the Templars. They didn't stop in their path or acknowledge her and Hawke, still feeling the high from striking down Grace was all too happy to engage another fight. This time she was prepared to fight the two Templars who had ignored her proclamation and who she was certain she was now an equal if not better match; especially given the scores of lyrium which were still singing as it raced through her veins.

"Hawke, are you singing?"

Marian turned to where Anders was standing, leaning heavily on his staff for support a trail of dried blood on his face, his hair all tangled with bits of foliage and blood. She knew it was the lyrium that he was hearing but Maker if she would say anything here. She was still on a high and she looked at Anders and smiled at him before she embraced him in a tight hug, her anger slowly dissipating.

"And another thing; is there any reason why I cannot sense Justice? How long have the Templars been here?"

Marian was curious now, did she close off Justice's connection between the Fade and the physical world when she had emitted the negative energy to cancel out the mages' mana? It seemed possible, but not something she really wanted to explore, nor something she really wanted to admit too. Avoiding the subject, she turned to look for Bethany only to see that the Templars had ignored her original request.

"Hey, I said those two were mine"

Hawke called out, her voice a ferocious growl that even she didn't recognize as the anger welled up inside her once more and Marian suddenly found herself was running to get to her sister because she wasn't going to let her be taken away without a fight. She wanted to speak to her sister, to touch her before she had to return to the Circle. Just as she reached the Templar who was kneeling over Bethany, hands glowing as he negated her mana despite the obvious fact that she wasn't conscious and reached out for the Knight did she hear

"Leave them be. That is the Champion's sister and the other a person of interest, Knights I want you to round up the apostates and anyone still living."

Cullen's voice cut clearly through Hawke's anger with the order. Now satisfied that her sister wouldn't be taken back to the Circle immediately, she set her sights on Isabela who had been revived and was being given a flask of a health potion by a healing mage.

"Hawke, just having a quick drink to prepare myself for celebratory drinks because we got through this"

She croaked and Hawke smiled at the pirate, suddenly emotional at the fact that Isabela was alive- that so far her risk by activating her Templar abilities had succeeded in sparing lives that mattered to her. Without a second thought Hawke had thrown her arms around the pirate and was trying not to begin sobbing onto Isabela's shoulder.

"When things started getting bad, I sent Sebastian to get help. He was out of arrows and those mages had him blocked off to getting back down to us. Not to mention, Chantry boy is like a rabbit, he moves quickly."

Isabela told Hawke, waggling her eyebrows at her comparison of the Chantry brother and Hawke had to roll her eyes and laugh at the pirate. Already despite the aches and pains, Isabela was making sexual innuendos. Wiping her damp eyes as her emotions continued to fluctuate from happiness to anger and despair, Hawke knew she needed to get out of the Templar's scrutiny before one of the Lieutenants or even the Knight-Captain himself noticed that she was high on lyrium.

"Champion, the apostate has woken up your sister"

Again, the Knight-Captain called out to Hawke. She let go of Isabela and jumped to her feet and was beside her sister within an instant, arms wrapped around her little sister and she began to cry into her robe so the Templars wouldn't see the extent of her hysteria.

"Sister, I knew you would come"

Bethany whispered into her older sister's ear, her voice still drowsy but not hiding the concern in it. Once more the lyrium sang another tune and Hawke was suddenly delirious with happiness and began to laugh just as hysterically as she had been when she was crying into her sister's robe.

"So, I told a blood mage that it wasn't my fault that her lover died; that it was actually Fenris' fault and that she should take it up with Fenris but then she tried to kill me. So I slit her throat!"

Hawke told her sister, laughing all the while as she did so. Bethany looking around for an ally that could help her help Marian, caught first Sebastian's attention and then Anders and looked at her delirious elder sister before turning to address the Knight-Captain.

"Knight-Captain Cullen, my sister needs to go home. She is in shock and delirious, I am sure she has over exerted herself. Am I able to accompany her home to care for her until she settles?"

Bethany requested, yawning as she did so. The Knight-Captain hesitated as he saw the Champion of Kirkwall, a woman revered and feared by many, a woman with such resolve that she hadn't fallen apart coming undone in her younger sister's arms and he relented. He knew that he would face the Knight-Commander's wraith over this allowance and decided that the Champion needed this; that it would help her recover.

"I will make an allowance considering the circumstances"

Anders had approached and cast a quick rejuvenation spell that had brightened Hawke's features considerably and it had stopped her hysteria... for now. At least it slightly hid the effects of the lyrium which was being expended from her body at a remarkable rate that surprised the healing mage. With a grunt of effort, he hoisted Marian to her feet and slung her arm around his shoulders. Sebastian was looking after Isabela who also had claimed Hawke's long sword. As Anders and Bethany meandered at the back of the entourage that was making its way down the winding path that lead back to Kirkwall, Bethany whispered to Anders:

"If Marian had more than four vials of Lyrium, she's going to be like this for a couple of days. I won't be able to stay outside of the Circle long enough to help her."

"I watched her knock back five in a row, possibly more after I was knocked down. She needs to stop drinking with Isabela at the Hanged Man"

Bethany frowned as she looked at her still chuckling sister who was even laughing as she fell asleep. Bethany hoped for the sake of her friends and herself that she stayed like in the state she was currently in until she was safely tucked into her bed.

"I can't judge how long Marian will be like this because I didn't see what she did once the Lyrium was in her system. But I know that if you saw her drink five vials, she probably had at least three more."

Bethany finally replied and Anders had a suspicion now what Hawke had done and he didn't know if he could live with the consequences of knowing that his friend was a Templar (if his suspicions were correct) and that one day, she was going to stop him. Justice resurfaced inside of him with a fury that made Anders stumble over an exposed root in the ground and as Justice showed him the reasons why Hawke never would have mentioned that she was a Templar to him, or to anyone. The anger inside him built and built.

"Anders…thank you for being here for me"

Hawke sobbed and Anders smiled grimly at the Champion of Kirkwall, resolved. He had promised to trust Hawke and to hear her explanation when they returned home. In his head, Justice scoffed at his reasoning and he began to doubt Hawke's motives and resolve once more.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and its characters are not mine... unfortunately._

* * *

**Chapter Four**_  
_

Marian was flying...she was flying so far. She couldn't see, she couldn't think; all she knew was that she was flying. She let out a laugh, triumphant almost as she flew away from everyone and everything. She wanted to go faster, faster- fly away faster! As she thought, she started to fly faster. But as she flew faster, she felt nausea well up inside her.

"Come on, Hawke"

It was Anders' voice, encouraging her. What was Anders doing flying with her? She didn't know why Anders would want to fly far, far away from Kirkwall when he wanted to help all the mages that were in Kirkwall's Circle. The nausea was intensifying and she found herself spiraling downwards, everything once more out of her control. She began to cry out, calling for someone to help her. Far off, she could hear a female voice calling to someone to fetch a bowl but Hawke didn't care, she could feel the nausea building to a crescendo and she sat upright

"Oh Maker!"

Hawke gasped as reality crashed through her and she began to heave into the bowl that was sitting in front of her. As she threw up the food that she couldn't even remember eating, she felt the familiar, soothing hand rubbing her back, the other hand combing through her shoulder length waves and holding the shorter parts that Hawke had hacked away in annoyance away from her face. Vaguely, Hawke knew that her sister was helping her, but it didn't make sense? What could have happened that would mean that Bethany was here, instead of at the Circle?

Once she had stopped dry heaving, did clarity flood through her and she sank back against the pillows, suddenly exhausted and ravenous again. She looked around until her blurry gaze turned to her sister and recognizing her, smiled weakly as she raised a shaking hand so she could touch her sister.

"You're home. Why are you home?"

Bethany hugged Hawke and it seemed to Hawke that they had already had this conversation a couple of times. It was the Lyrium Hawke knew and it made her feel extremely fatigued, but she didn't want to sleep. She wanted to go lie in front of the fire place with Max and besides, Hawke felt like she was going to freeze to death.

"I want to go sit in front of the fire"

Hawke told her sister. Bethany smiled at Marian who reminded her of a small child when she spoke and shook her head once.

"If you move any more than you are, you'll be sick again. Do you remember the last time that happened?"

Hawke wasn't pleased at being reminded of the last experience she had with Lyrium and mumbling, nestled further under the covers in attempts to get warmer. As if on cue, Max nosed the door open and jumped up on the bed, settling himself down across Hawke's legs. Reaching forward, she began to scratch his ears as she tried to piece the flashes of memory that was returning to her now that the last of the Lyrium from her binge was being processed through her body.

"How many days have I been out…this time?"

She asked her sister as Max squirmed his way over her legs so he was nestled against her side and all but pushing Hawke out of the bed. Bethany ran her hand through her hair and sighed before she looked at her older sister, the fatigue clearly showing in Bethany's face.

"Three days. I swear on the Maker that Anders was literally drawing the Lyrium out of your body at one point. You ingested eight vials of Lyrium Marian. What were you thinking, sister? You were warned and Carver was doubly warned when you both went into training. What were you hoping to achieve? What's going to happen to you now, especially if the Knight-Captain suspects? He was one of the first of the Templars to arrive on the scene"

Hawke knew that she was going to hear this from Bethany; she didn't know how but sure enough, they were questions that she needed to answer her younger sister who so often seemed on level with Marian when she needed someone the most.

"Why would the Knight-Captain suspect anything?"

Hawke dodged around the issue and focused on the imminent one that was present in her household: the Knight-Captain Cullen. She had to wonder how much the Knight-Captain had figured out and for the first time, did she really weigh the risks and the consequences. Feeling suddenly defeated, Marian opted to bury her head in Max's fur, inhaling the scent of dog and elf root (clearly, the dog had been carrying on in the vegetation again).

"Marian, I'm not sure, but you were all over the place: laughing, crying and recounting memories like that time those rogue Templars tried to make me Tranquil and you instigated a fight using words that aren't worthy of the Maker."

Hawke snorted at her sister's obvious over exaggeration and went to say something in her defense, but was stopped by Bethany who obviously hadn't finished the point that she was trying to get across to her sister.

"But you were displaying the symptoms of someone who is high on Lyrium and then you started talking about when we were moving around Feraldan until Sebastian quieted you down. I don't think I've ever seen you turn the colour red that deep before."

Hawke had no memory of any of this. But she knew that Bethany wouldn't have exaggerated what she was like at all. Marian sighed, slightly embarrassed and knowing that very soon she was going to be hearing all about it from a certain pirate who loved to gossip as much as she loved to pick fights, drink ale and have sex.

"Well. What's done is done Bethany; I'll live with the consequences, like I do anything else."

Bethany could tell that her older sister was resolved to see this out that it was her decision that had driven her to use her Templar abilities and now, she was going to pay the consequences and she wasn't going to let anyone else become involved. Seeing that Marian was lucid once more; even if she would be ill for another day or two, she knew it was time for her to return to the Circle.

"Sister, I need to go back to the Circle now. I will write when I can, take care of mother and...Thank you."

Marian heard what her sister wasn't saying to her and she shook her head before gesturing at the little space on the bed that Max wasn't taking up; the mongrel. Bethany huffed but obliged her older sister, the one who protected them after their father died and crawled into her sister's shaking arms.

"Anders told me that you took the Lyrium as the last resort. That you were fighting with desperation and anger that he had never seen before. I don't remember much after those mages tricked me and put me to sleep, only that when I woke up and felt my mana depleted and I knew that it was you and I had to wonder, did you do this because I was involved and you still feel guilty or if you did this because she had too."

Bethany told Marian and Marian sighed, not knowing what to say to her sister. She didn't know what Bethany was trying to tell her, only that it was important. However, Marian found that she didn't particular care. She had protected her younger sister, she had protected Isabela, Sebastian and Anders and as far as she was concerned that was all that mattered to her at the moment.

"I did what I had to do, Bethany. If Knight-Captain Cullen deduces the truth, then I will pay my dues and accept the punishment"

Marian didn't really want to voice that the punishment for deserting the Templar Order in most cases involved death and if the deserter was lucky, exile. She could handle exile but she wasn't too keen on execution. Like Marian knew of Bethany, Bethany knew that her older sister wasn't saying that the consequences had the potential to be dire but that it would be dealt with when it came and Bethany was more than happy to spend as much time with her sister before she had to leave.

Hawke jerked awake after what only felt like minutes later, surprised that she had fallen asleep again. There was an empty space on the bed, leaving Max who clearly hadn't moved once since he had spread himself out across Marian's bed and by the simple fact that Marian had no feeling in her legs from the thighs down. Leaning forward, she pushed Max off of her legs and massaged feeling back into her legs and feet, afterwards pulling the covers back and swinging her legs out of the bed, feeling the cool of the wooden planks underneath her feet before taking a deep breath and standing, swaying on uncertain feet. Max was standing beside Hawke and Marian rested a hand on his broad shoulder and slowly the duo began to make her way towards the hallway with Max walking by her side as they made their way out into the hallway and down the way towards the stairs. Despite their slow pace, Hawke's footsteps were heavy as she walked which garnered the attention of the group standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Champion"

Cullen greeted her with a nod and Marian just stared at the man before she slowly and unsteadily began making her way down the stairs. She knew why he was here: to escort her sister back to the Circle. Despite the unusual sight of the Knight-Captain not wearing any steel plate armor and instead wearing leather armor, Marian noticed the other Templars that had accompanied him in the background. With a pointed look at her sister, who shook her head once conveying with that shake that it wasn't worth mentioning the other Templars who were with the Knight-Captain; Hawke nodded at the half dozen accompanying Templars that stood in the foyer of the estate in greeting.

"I don't think it's necessary for seven Templars to escort a willing mage back to the Circle, Knight-Captain."

The Knight-Captain shifted his weight from one foot to another, uncomfortable at the Champion's scrutiny and mortification for her sister. He watched as Bethany sighed once before hugging her mother farewell, beginning to cry as she did so before she turned and climbed the last couple of stairs that Hawke hadn't yet attempted to tackle.

"Goodbye, sister. I'll write to you as much as I can. Take care of mother for me"

Max whined as Bethany helped her sister down the last three steps and then embraced her sister and her mother once more. Touching Orana and Bodahan on the shoulder before turning to the Knight-Captain who then escorted Bethany out of the room. Hawke sighed once more before deciding to follow them. Ambling forward, once more leaning on Max when she was at her most unsteadiness.

"Messer Hawke, do look after yourself"

Cullen said to her at the front doors. Hawke nodded once before gesturing to where her sister was walking away, their neighbors peering at the public spectacle from their balconies and then at the entrance to the Hawke Estate, gauging the reactions of Marian and Leandra Hawke. They were sorely disappointed with the Champion- her face as stoic as ever, Leandra on the other hand didn't disappoint her meddling neighbours. Marian hobbled forward and caught the Knight-Captain on the shoulder before he left with his fellow Templars.

"This isn't necessary. Is there any dignity for anyone in doing this? Bethany is willing, she is not resisting. Surely her return to the Circle didn't warrant the Knight-Captain's presence"

She asked Cullen testily. The Knight-Captain looked at the younger Hawke and then at the elder Hawke, seeing the similarities between the two that marked them siblings and the differences in the two as well. Finally seeing the two women together, Cullen saw how protective and even dominating the Champion was when it came to her family; that despite her illness she was determined to protect her sister whereas Bethany was content to follow, to be protected and Cullen had to wonder if protection was on her mind when the younger Hawke decided to give herself up to the Chantry and the Circle.

"It was the Knight-Commander's orders and not a desire to see your sister humiliated; I am sorry if this causes you pain"

Indeed, Cullen was remorseful that by following orders he had upset the Champion of Kirkwall. Whilst Meredith was perceiving the Champion as a threat firstly because of her alliance with mages and then her involvement with the Quanari; Cullen saw otherwise and often he found himself sympathetic towards the Champion being one of the few people in Kirkwall who could see and recognize the stress that was put onto her and the undue influence that every action she made impacted Kirkwall in the smallest of ways. It was because of these things that he found himself wanting to knew the Champion more than he did, to become her ally.

The Knight-Captain was snapped out of his thoughts when Hawke smiled at him and held out a hand in gesture of peace. Without hesitation and despite the thoughts raging through his head, Cullen took her hand in his feeling callouses on her hand through the thin fabric of the gloves that he wore.

"Until next time then, Knight-Captain"

Hawke eventually said, her hand still grasped in his and Hawke found herself not wanting to let go of the Templar in front of her and knowing that it would be he that would eventually sign her fate that would be recorded on a piece of paper. Her smile faded abruptly, she didn't want any of this and she had the sensation of everything moving too quickly for her to make sense of once more. Her knees began to buckle and she fell forward, the Knight-Captain caught her as she fell. Hoisting her arm around his broad shoulders, he walked Hawke back inside to her room and lifted her back into bed, his gentle handling surprising both Hawke and everyone that saw his actions. Knight Captain Cullen bowed once and took his leave; but not before Leandra Hawke and Marian Hawke saw the red that coloured his cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and its characters are not mine... unfortunately._

_**A/N: **Its with this chapter, that I must leave you all for a couple of weeks whilst I move homes. I expect to have multiple updates for you all upon my return to the recesses of the internet.  
_

* * *

**Chapter Five**_  
_

It was another three days of struggle and sleeping before Hawke had her strength all but returned to her. The first thing she did the morning were she felt all but herself once more was to don her cured leathers (the lightest she possessed), sheathed a broadsword and strapped two daggers to the inside of her boots and attempt to head outside…until she was stopped by her mother.

"Marian, you look like you're your old self again"

Marian froze at her mother's sarcastic tone and turned around sheepishly. Whilst Marian felt as if she was back to normal, Leandra knew from experience otherwise; and she knew that Hawke would go out and return home, pale and nauseous as her body struggled to cope with the stresses that Marian had to endure.

"I need to go to Darktown to see Anders"

Leandra sighed; knowing what it was exactly that was plaguing her daughter's mind and being powerless to help; knowing it was something that only her daughter could address. The two women waited now for the Templars to come marching to the Hawke Estate and to arrest Marian to be executed for her years of abandonment. Leandra had lost her husband, buried one of her children and seen her youngest daughter turn herself into the Circle. Now, Leandra would see her eldest through her own trials that the Maker challenged her with.

"Be careful"

Leandra finally told her daughter and Marian nodded before accepting the small pouch of herbs that aided the cure of nausea and dizziness and turning on her heel let herself out of the manor and into the daylight. The always constant wind made the Hightown Estates smell like the ocean but it wasn't Hawke's purpose to enjoy the pleasant day whilst she was free to do so. Pressing on, Hawke began the trek to Darktown; one of the poorest places in Kirkwall, not to mention its' darkness.

Anders medical clinic was one of the few places in Kirkwall that occasionally reminded her of the smells of the marketplace in Lothering and it was always those moments that made Marian long to be back in Fereldan the most. Entering the clinic, Hawke couldn't help but take a deep breath as she shut the door behind her.

"I will be with you in a moment, Hawke."

Anders called out to her when he looked up to see who it was that had entered. His voice was tense as he concentrated on the patient in front of him. Hawke sat herself down on the stool that was beside Ander's workbench that was completely covered in notes or the various parts of Anders' incomplete manifesto that he had been writing for as long as Hawke had known the apostate. She looked at the herbs on the table and then at the empty, recently oiled mortar and pestle and began to chop the herbs and began to create the soothing balm that she knew Anders used frequently on burns. The time passed as Anders treated his patient and Hawke waited for him, grinding down the herbs into a paste and then bottling and labeling them as she went.

It was only after his patient had left the clinic did even begin to acknowledge that Hawke was sitting at his desk.

"You are well now?"

Anders asked her as he began to clean up after his patient, his tone was forced and Hawke knew that he was trying to be calm. Hawke was waiting now, waiting for an outburst of anger that she knew would have been building up inside of him for days. Anders continued his chores, his movements becoming more and more erratic and Marian, watching his movements put down the pestle, pushing away her work and stood up and leant against the worktable. Finally Anders pushed the table away from him with a bang

"A Templar, Hawke? You're really a Templar? Only powerful ones can cut off the connection I have with Justice; Hawke and you were the last one standing in that fight. Were you ever going to tell anyone? And the lyrium, Templars are addicted to it yet I've seen you take lyrium and give it to Merrill or me. No, I know why you're so close to Fenris...it's so you can use his markings to get your high. What do you have to do to use the lyrium to get your fix, Hawke?"

He whirled around and looked at Hawke who had bowed her head and flinched as Anders threw a chair across the room, his skin beginning to emit a light blue as Justice threatened to take over in his anger. Isabela had said to Hawke one night at the Hanged Man that she saw Anders' attraction for her, but Hawke hadn't believed it…until now.

"Lyrium is a powerful substance. One person can get addicted to it with continuous use and reap the benefits, like Templars but another person can reap the same benefits by binging, which is what I do"

Hawke answered quietly but her words echoed throughout the clinic as if she had shouted them. Anders hadn't moved since he had thrown the chair in anger and Hawke didn't want to move as she could still see traces of Justice present on Anders' body and she knew how volatile the spirit became when Anders was aggravated as he was now.

"It all makes sense now to me now: why you are so close to Merrill and why you pamper her. You cannot stop her as quickly as you could stop me."

Hawke took a moment to rein in her own sudden anger that flared to life at his words. Counting to ten she then looked up at Anders and after taking two deep breaths she spoke, choosing her words carefully

"Merrill is a young Dalish elf in a unfamiliar city, she needs someone to be her friend and to help her adjust. You are a renegade Grey Warden and a pursued apostate by the Kirkwall Templars, who frequently likes to be alone. I'm sorry that you perceived that I prefer Merrill to you. I never meant to make you think that way."

Hawke apologized, meaning every word that she spoke. Anders however didn't pause to take in what she said, knowing that Hawke was right. That he did intentionally push away those who tried to get to know him more.

"But you would still strike me down? You think that I perceive things? I know what I seeHawke; and I see you lying through your teeth, you're nothing but a puppet to the Chantry despite your claims. I see through your 'let's try and help as many as we can' facade, but then you go and kill them anyway because Fenris wants you too. The truth is you hate mages as much as the next Templar; hell, you even handed your own sister over to the Chantry"

Mentioning Bethany was a below the belt remark and both Anders and Hawke knew it. When Bethany had announced her intentions to her family after Marian had just returned from the Deep Roads; bitter, sleep deprived, aching in places she didn't know existed and ready to cleave Varric's brother Bartrand in two for trapping them in the Primeval Thaig, she'd looked at her sister, told her that she was as clever as a nug and then proceeded to become so intoxicated at the Hanged Man that she hadn't seen her sister leave for the Circle and she'd regretted her actions ever since.

"I don't need to hear this. You made me a promise that you would let me explain and you haven't seen this promise through. When you are willing to let me explain, then I will speak to you, but I won't take these insults. I have looked past your flaws, perhaps it's time for you to do the same"

Hawke turned and walked away, defenseless and fully expecting Anders to throw something at her but it never came. As she meandered her way through the streets of Darktown, replaying Anders angry words in her head the full reality of his unwillingness to accept her talents crashed through her as did his hurtful words and she found herself crying as she ascended back up into Lowtown and without thinking headed for the Hanged Man.

"Andrastate's tits, the nug humper is back!"

Varric was drunk again...or had still been drinking since the last time Hawke had seen the dwarf in the tavern. She went over to their customary table in the Hanged Man where a chortling Varric, Isabela, Merrill and Aveline all nursed various beverages. Aveline looked at her friend and saw that despite the laughs and the smiles, that Hawke was upset. But every moment that Varric slurred out a sentence, it seemed to be cheering her up. Aveline however, wasn't fooled and resolved to speak with her.

"Hawke, can we speak later on?"

Hawke looked at the Captain of the Guard and seeing Aveline's concern laced on her face, nodded once curtly and then turned back to Varric who was trying to tell Hawke her latest adventures along the Wounded Coast...it was clear that Isabela had been talking to the melodramatic dwarf.

"I shit you not Hawke, so the apostates are closing in on you, you're the only one left and then you just jump out with a loud battle cry and start cutting them down as they're attacking you and their magic is just rebounding off of you like it's nothing!"

Hawke to an extent was amused at Varric's retelling of the latest events on the Wounded Coast and she had to wonder just how much he'd made up and how much he'd gleaned of the truth. But then the dwarf had many contacts that even he wouldn't mention to Hawke who and where they were from, so she had to wonder sometimes. Varric frowned into his half empty pint glass and then looked at Hawke; his gaze unfocused and wavering.

"Of course that's as far as I've gotten, you have to help me fill in the blanks of what happened afterwards"

Hawke blanched inwardly at the thought of detailing what happened afterwards and when it occurred to her that she didn't actually remember most of it; only the hallucinations of herself flying through the air until she threw up and came crashing back to reality, did she look at Isabela beseeching her to help her out.

"Hey dwarf, we need more ale. It's your round!"

Isabella crowed gleefully with a wink in Aveline and Hawke's direction. Varric roared his approval of the notion and stumbled out of his seat and pretty much fell in the direction of the bar in his quest to provide more ale for the party.

"Thank you Isabela"

The pirate lifted her pint and saluted to Hawke before drinking deeply and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand after draining the contents of the glass and then belched loudly. Aveline shook her head in disgust at the sight, muttering under her breath about the indecency of the act as Hawke tried in vain to hide her amusement at the Guard Captain's reaction.

Several hours later after a fast and somewhat violent game of Diamondback, Hawke left Varric, Aveline and Isabela in the Hanged Man following Merrill's sensible idea of getting a somewhat good night's rest. Kirkwall was silent with the occasional sounds of cats fighting or the splash of someone throwing something out of their window into the street punctuated the silence that was accompanied by the ever constant wind blowing in from the sea. Rounding a corner, Hawke came to a stop as a waiting Templar pulled his sword from its sheathing, the tip a bit too close to Hawke's throat for comfort.

"You need to come with us, Champion"

Hawke sighed and raised her hands to shoulder level in a gesture of submission and huffed as three more Templars emerged from the shadows; their armor clinking as they moved which made Hawke think that all Templars must be incapable of sneaking up to people with their plate armor on. The Templar that held her at sword-point was talking but Hawke couldn't really hear what he was saying, muffled as it was through his helmet.

"Champion, you will come with us or forfeit your life"

_That_ sentence however brought Hawke crashing back to reality and clearing her throat nervously nodded once to the Templar who seemed all too happy to be pointing a sword at the Champion. Nodding in the direction of the Gallows, Hawke gestured in the same direction with a hand.

"Let's go for a walk then"

The Templar sheathed his sword and Hawke lowered her hands at the same time as the three other Templars rushed forward; one restrained her by clapping heavy brass shackles around her wrists, cuffing her hands behind her back. Another patted his way down her body, feeling for concealed knives whilst the last confiscated her broad sword.

"So, how about we get this show on the road? I don't have all night you know, a Champion has got places to be"

She told them snidely and in response was roughly pushed forward, causing her to stumble up the last three steps. She was given no moment to regain her equilibrium and continued to stumble forward until they finally came to a stop at the entrance to the Gallows. Instead of the wide gates opening a smaller side gate opened and Hawke was pushed inside. The narrow corridor that she was lead through was damp and smelt of the mold that decorated its walls. Now Hawke was beginning to grow concerned. Though the Templars hadn't actually harmed her in anyway the secrecy and nature of her visiting the Gallows at the wee hours of the morning concerned her.

They approached a heavy stone door built into the wall only distinguishable by the bars that allowed the ventilation of air. The leader wrenched the door opened and ushered Hawke into a windowless room with a lone chair in the middle that had cuffs attached to it and it looked like it was a chair meant for serious business. Now Hawke was growing afraid as the Templar transferred her cuffed hands to the chains on the chain, making her sit down in the chair and then proceeded to leave without another word. As the door closed behind them, Hawke couldn't help herself and called out to them sarcastically

"Make sure you come back with a roast for me, boys!"


End file.
